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Saturday, March 5, 2011

"You've just had some bad luck lately"

I talked to my Aunt L today. I love talking to her.
I wish I had talked to Brian today. I love talking to him too.

I got an email today from Brian that left me with the impression that I won't be able to see him over Spring Break after all. His ex wife is pulling some dumb blonde (no offense to my blonde readers) moves and can't (in my opinion, won't) get the kids. She hasn't seen them in almost a month now and Brian is furious and surprised at her actions. I can't say that I'm surprised. I kind of saw this coming. It hasn't been the first time she has messed up plans between me and Brian, and I know that it won't be the last. I'm still not sure whether or not I'll get to go on break for Spring Break. I need to get away from the kids, out of the house, out of Texas for a little while. I miss my friends (the few that I have now, anyway). I miss having my own life where I don't have to worry about where the baby is, who is cooking dinner tonight, and whose turn it is for the bathtub. I'm not a parent yet. I wasn't born to be a live-in babysitter for my parents.

In the last 2 days, we found out that another 2 friends of the family passed away. They both passed away in their sleep. One of them was younger than 30 and was best friends with Aunt J. She is really torn up about it. The other one was in B.A.C.A. (Bikers Against Child Abuse; an organization of bikers who defended innocent children from abusive situations; for more info, click here) with mom and dad. I didn't know either of these men personally, but what bothers me so much is the fact that their deaths are just more stressors for my immediate family.

I'm tired and I need to look up places to get grief counseling (either online or some where close to home) that is free. Any suggestions from anybody is greatly appreciated. Any kind words would be great too, just as an assurance that somebody, somewhere is actually interested in what I have to say, even if it is mundane.

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