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Friday, July 29, 2011

New changes just around the corner

July 11 was my last blog. A LOT has happened since then!! I put in my two weeks notice at work and finished that out this last Tuesday night. Mary gave me a hug when I left and I know that at least she will miss me!! Greg told me that if I ever wind up back in Amarillo, I have a job waiting for me there! I'm hoping that I won't need that offer, but its nice to know that it still stands if I need it.

Today is Grandpa's retirement party. Everybody is coming into WD for that tonight. Clay and I are already here, and Daddy, Shareen, and all of the kids are coming in later today. the last time we talked to Grandpa, he was still in Denver. He is riding his bike back here today.

On Monday, Shareen is taking me to Sayre, OK to meet Brian. Then Brian and I are driving back to Chandler so that I can finally meet his kiddos!!!! I'm super excited!!! I talked to them last night and they both told me that they are excited to meet me! A kept telling me that he has a countdown  to when I go out there and for when school starts. 2 days now for me, and 12 for school.

Monday, July 11, 2011

"Even if it costs you to die"

I'm sitting here, listening to my 9 year old cousin, E, playing with one of his other little 9 year old buddies. They are on XBox doing the mike/headset conversation thing, playing COD. E's buddy told E "even if it costs you to die, I want to get the game winning kill." Since when do 9 year olds play games where they feel comfortable asking someone to sacrifice their life just to get more points?! My 8 and 7 year old brothers play this game too, and I don't really think that it's okay.

Last night, I was up for a while. I called Brian and we had a very good conversation about me, even if it was uncomfortable for me in some spots. It was something that he and I had to discuss and he is concerned about me. I know that we will be okay; we will work through this together. It's so refreshing to know that I have found someone who loves me enough to work with me and to love me, even on my bad days. I have no idea what I did to deserve him, but I will never let him go.

Tonight, we have the first big group therapy session since Chris died. It has been almost 6 months since he took his life, and I am just now going to talk to someone about it. Brian asked me to tell the grief counselor tonight what has been going through my head lately. I need to talk about it.

I cried so much last night. And I still feel drained, emotionally and physically. I've said about 20 words all morning, and I've been awake for almost 2 hours. I'm glad that I don't have to focus on work today. All that I really need to do is to shower, finish my laundry, and do this meeting tonight.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Megamind and my two weeks' notice

After 4 and a half months at Michaels, I'm leaving. Brian and I are finally able to move in together and we have decided to make it happen before school starts for the kiddos, which means I'm leaving in the next 3 to 4 weeks,  maybe a little bit longer. I just typed out my two weeks' notice for work today and I am going to turn that in to my boss on Tuesday. Then, two weeks later, I will be taking the bus out to OKC to meet Brian's kids. I'll return to Amarillo for a few days to pack up my stuff, and then I'm outta here!!!!!!

More later....