I have finally moved. I am out of my Dad's house and semi on my own. I am still looking for a job, but I have sent out many many applications and I'm hoping that a few of them call me back soon. I'm waiting on mail to come in so that I can get a library card and start using that resource.
Brian and I are doing fantastically well. We still haven't seen each other and I'm pretty upset that our plans fell through for Spring Break, but I know that his ex will do things like this from time to time and really try to push my buttons, especially after she realizes that Brian has other plans and is over her. That's just the kind of person she is. I'm so excited to meet his family and I know that every day, he loves me more. I love him more and more. I am so excited for our future. We have really gotten closer here lately. He has been very patient with me, especially when I am dealing with my bad days; similar to today...
The last few days, I have been mentally and emotionally exhausted. I go from Daddy's house where talking about Chris was completely unheard of to Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt L and Aunt R who truly knew Chris. They (now "we") talk about him all the time. All of the emotions that I'm feeling are happening for the very first time. I have been reading a book, titled After Suicide from Mardel, and I have been kind of frustrated with it. They keep saying things like "almost everybody feels...you may feel...you may think". I don't fit into most of those categories. Actually, I only fit into one. I got really mad at him when I found out about it. I am going to join the rest of the family at group therapy once that gets started. I'm curious to see how everybody else is feeling and how they are dealing with their emotions. Time heals most of this, so I guess I'll have to be patient.
I'm glad that I have someone who is understanding and who is willing to help me through all of this.
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