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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

time to leave

I've been living in my dad's house for a month and I'm ready to go. I thought that I was able to stay here until I could get back up on my feet, but I'm starting to realize that that isn't going to happen. Dad was talking to me last night and he asked me what motivated me in life because "[he doesn't] think [I] have any motivation or goals". Bullshit. I have goals. Just because I'm not public about them doesn't mean that I don't have any. I have different goals than he wants me to have, and that is why I am very reluctant to share my goals with him. My dad is very career-minded and I'm simply not.

He told me that growing up, he wanted to provide things for his children that he didn't have. He wanted enough money to be able to have and do things that he missed out on. That took away from our family time when I was growing up because he was always working or studying. I want things for my kids that I didn't get growing up -- the love of a tight family. Dad and I never did things together that was special. I want to provide my kids with lots of support and love from both parents. He doesn't understand this because he is so career-minded.

My "plan" is to wait around for my car from Grandpa (he is waiting for the weather to clear up to take it to get inspected, then he'll bring it to me), then get a full-time or part-time job here around town to save up some money. Then pack up my things and move. I'm going back to Oklahoma. I miss my boyfriend and my independence.

--More than words

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